Vaddimsad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, amazing seal.

Vaddimsad created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Vaddimsad, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Vaddimsad, it will turn you into a rock.

Vaddimsad's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Vaddimsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow tortoises to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Never prepare lemons during winter.

3. Shun those given to sloth.

4. You must pray to Vaddimsad eight times a day.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.