Gofgedlen is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, two-faced dove.

Gofgedlen created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofgedlen, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gofgedlen, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Gofgedlen's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Gofgedlen's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gofgedlen.

2. Never talk about seals.

3. Worship no other gods but Gofgedlen.

4. Do not hurt porpoises.

5. Do not listen to music.