Cartintan Figbabquill is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, caring wasp.

Cartintan Figbabquill created water eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cartintan Figbabquill, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cartintan Figbabquill, it will turn you into a hamster.

Cartintan Figbabquill's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Cartintan Figbabquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near frogs while wearing indigo shorts and balancing eight silver spheres on your face.

3. Hide if six snails approach from the north.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about comets.