Bapbassgof is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, slow centaur.

Bapbassgof created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapbassgof, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bapbassgof, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Bapbassgof's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bapbassgof's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck red.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never chant in the presence of dolphins.

5. Never feed carrots to capybaras while wearing scarves.