Pomwee is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, uncaring crocodile.

Pomwee created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomwee, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pomwee, she will cry a lot.

Pomwee's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Pomwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not leap in public.

3. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pomwee.