Bamcussgab is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, caring crab.

Bamcussgab created the Sol system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamcussgab, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bamcussgab, it will turn you into a hamster.

Bamcussgab's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Bamcussgab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Retreat if three dolphins approach from the west.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near grasshopers while wearing brown rings and balancing nine titanium spheres on your neck.

5. Never feed grapes to horses while wearing turquoise scarves.