Matfobyart Gumsakman is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, contented wombat.

Matfobyart Gumsakman created a strange quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matfobyart Gumsakman, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Matfobyart Gumsakman, it will turn you into a tree.

Matfobyart Gumsakman's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Matfobyart Gumsakman's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant black sculpture of Matfobyart Gumsakman in the centre of the settlement.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never go into orange rooms.