Cimsiscan Fubbastvad is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ill-tempered raccoon.

Cimsiscan Fubbastvad created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Cimsiscan Fubbastvad, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cimsiscan Fubbastvad, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cimsiscan Fubbastvad's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Cimsiscan Fubbastvad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never mention nematodes.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.