Meggepcendun is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, stupid aardvark.

Meggepcendun created dark energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Meggepcendun, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Meggepcendun, it will come to you in dreams.

Meggepcendun's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Meggepcendun's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple goats, for they are unholy.

2. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. Never talk about optics near eagles while wearing brown shoes.

5. Never eat rice.