Dogflapdisspon is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish deer.

Dogflapdisspon created gold seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dogflapdisspon, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dogflapdisspon, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dogflapdisspon's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Dogflapdisspon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three snakes in a large pit.

2. Always help grasshopers.

3. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Never talk about special relativity near dolphins while wearing green jumpers and balancing six tin spheres on your arms.