Vonkbudfid is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ill-tempered jellyfish.

Vonkbudfid created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkbudfid, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vonkbudfid, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Vonkbudfid's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Vonkbudfid's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Vonkbudfid on top of all buildings.

3. Never paint your feet white.

4. Run away if three sharks approach from the south.

5. Retreat if six tortoises approach from the north.