Tonteenpad is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, self-confident chicken.

Tonteenpad created the Virgo Supercluster three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonteenpad, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tonteenpad, it will ignore you.

Tonteenpad's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Tonteenpad's Holy Commandments

1. Tonteenpad loves cats, so they must be honoured.

2. Never talk about optics.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always wear turquoise.