Tettikipcitkoplistrillhon is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, merciful jaguar.

Tettikipcitkoplistrillhon created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettikipcitkoplistrillhon, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tettikipcitkoplistrillhon, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tettikipcitkoplistrillhon's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tettikipcitkoplistrillhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. You must never eat parsnips.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always help shrews.