Farnyarcap is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unselfish eagle.

Farnyarcap created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Farnyarcap, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Farnyarcap, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Farnyarcap's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Farnyarcap's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near voles while wearing violet kilts and balancing seven lead spheres on your neck.

3. Never think about dark energy near sharks while wearing fawn jumpers and balancing eight copper spheres on your arms.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Retreat if three birds approach from the north.