Lenwonboss is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, strong coyote.

Lenwonboss created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lenwonboss, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lenwonboss, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Lenwonboss' most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Lenwonboss' Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

3. Retreat if nine tapirs approach from the west.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near snails while wearing indigo stockings.

5. Lenwonboss must be the most important thing in your life.