Riphanham is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, sapient donkey.

Riphanham created Mount Everest two years ago.

If you believe in Riphanham, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Riphanham, he will destroy your home solar system.

Riphanham's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Riphanham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about dark matter near tortoises while wearing brown jumpers and balancing three nickel spheres on your face.