Nuttcinstik is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, passionate owl.

Nuttcinstik created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttcinstik, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nuttcinstik, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nuttcinstik's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Nuttcinstik's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Nuttcinstik.

4. Never eat aubergines.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.