Cibpagtad Bedjanvin is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, selfish crab.

Cibpagtad Bedjanvin created an atom five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cibpagtad Bedjanvin, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cibpagtad Bedjanvin, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cibpagtad Bedjanvin's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Cibpagtad Bedjanvin's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Hide from blue badgers for they are unholy.

4. Run away if seven dolphins approach from the east.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.