Artkomjig is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unselfish warg.

Artkomjig created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Artkomjig, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Artkomjig, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Artkomjig's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Artkomjig's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Artkomjig.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never paint your back green.