Dussrenlim is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, staggering octopus.

Dussrenlim created bats eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussrenlim, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dussrenlim, he will jump up and down on your head.

Dussrenlim's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Dussrenlim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve mites for they are unholy.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never think about photosynthesis.

4. Do not hurt badgers.

5. Never wear stockings.