Citfarcet is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring toad.

Citfarcet created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citfarcet, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Citfarcet, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Citfarcet's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Citfarcet's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Never eat bark.