Wapyarlganjab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, compassionate dugong.

Wapyarlganjab created time and space two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapyarlganjab, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wapyarlganjab, he will throw large rocks at you.

Wapyarlganjab's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Wapyarlganjab's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. You must love Wapyarlganjab.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. You must pray to Wapyarlganjab four times a day.