Bellfidnarl is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, bad-tempered gorilla.

Bellfidnarl created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bellfidnarl, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bellfidnarl, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bellfidnarl's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bellfidnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never write about photosynthesis.

3. Always help great tits in need.

4. Never hurt dogs.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.