Staffitminvil is a god.
It takes the form of an exceedingly large, unselfish
wolf.
Staffitminvil created a quark twelve years ago.
If you believe in
Staffitminvil, it will give you the power of flight.
If you do not believe in
Staffitminvil, it will remove you from existence.
Staffitminvil's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.
Staffitminvil's Holy Commandments1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.
2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.
3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.
4. Never talk about dwarf planets.
5. Show mercy to disobedient children.