Jarnlinjad is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, calm pigeon.

Jarnlinjad created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnlinjad, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jarnlinjad, she will turn you into a rat.

Jarnlinjad's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Jarnlinjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt moths.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never mention voles.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.