Damkemmipmon is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, wise gorilla.

Damkemmipmon created tapeworms twelve years ago.

If you believe in Damkemmipmon, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Damkemmipmon, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Damkemmipmon's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Damkemmipmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt whales.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Run away if four hamsters approach from the south.