Femwotmilvadgen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, blissful beaver.

Femwotmilvadgen created a strange quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Femwotmilvadgen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Femwotmilvadgen, he will turn you into a rat.

Femwotmilvadgen's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Femwotmilvadgen's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of ducks.

2. Put Femwotmilvadgen first in all things.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near otters while wearing indigo shoes and balancing nine iron spheres on your legs.