Jopstragpin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, idiotic scorpion.

Jopstragpin created Europe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopstragpin, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jopstragpin, she will be very unhappy.

Jopstragpin's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Jopstragpin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never feed nuts to badgers while wearing jumpers.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Do not drink water in pink rooms.