Bif Yikflanwad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, contented jackal.

Bif Yikflanwad created the planet Saturn six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bif Yikflanwad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bif Yikflanwad, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bif Yikflanwad's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Bif Yikflanwad's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Bif Yikflanwad loves ducks, so they must be honoured.