Stafvonbam is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, fast hippopotamus.

Stafvonbam created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafvonbam, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stafvonbam, it will strike you with lightening.

Stafvonbam's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Stafvonbam's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not hurt ducks.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always wear purple.