Flagmetpib is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, conceited alligator.

Flagmetpib created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagmetpib, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flagmetpib, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Flagmetpib's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Flagmetpib's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Hide from white goats for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near geese while wearing mauve boots.