Fasgofloopfem is a god.

She takes the form of a large, humorless beaver.

Fasgofloopfem created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fasgofloopfem, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fasgofloopfem, she will turn you into a tree.

Fasgofloopfem's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Fasgofloopfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat corn.

5. Run away if four squirrels approach from the west.