Jennellcat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, witless swallow.

Jennellcat created Asia six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jennellcat, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jennellcat, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jennellcat's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Jennellcat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always treat shrews with great respect.

3. Never feed bananas to snakes while wearing turquoise hats.

4. Always wear indigo.

5. Do not cook food in pots.