Ditgabjig is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, vain monkey.

Ditgabjig created viruses two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditgabjig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditgabjig, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Ditgabjig's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Ditgabjig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.