Bonktargvog Hadranbiffemnabbaffad is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, prudent swallow.

Bonktargvog Hadranbiffemnabbaffad created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonktargvog Hadranbiffemnabbaffad, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bonktargvog Hadranbiffemnabbaffad, she will cry a lot.

Bonktargvog Hadranbiffemnabbaffad's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Bonktargvog Hadranbiffemnabbaffad's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Run away from orange nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Do not take Bonktargvog Hadranbiffemnabbaffad's name in vain.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never talk about stars.