Yogtunvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, loving camel.

Yogtunvonk created matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogtunvonk, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yogtunvonk, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Yogtunvonk's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Yogtunvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about spacetime near tapirs while wearing blue stockings and balancing five iron spheres on your face.

4. Never wear red skirts.

5. Never chant near moths.