Bidnilgan is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sage lobster.

Bidnilgan created the Andromeda Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidnilgan, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bidnilgan, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bidnilgan's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Bidnilgan's Holy Commandments

1. Bidnilgan loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bidnilgan.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never hurt shrews.