Betligren is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, resourceful crab.

Betligren created the Andromeda Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betligren, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Betligren, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Betligren's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Betligren's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four sheep approach from the east.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Betligren in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never skip near voles.