Tunbosscisshudhivlarpfem is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, merciless bat.

Tunbosscisshudhivlarpfem created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tunbosscisshudhivlarpfem, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tunbosscisshudhivlarpfem, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tunbosscisshudhivlarpfem's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Tunbosscisshudhivlarpfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near sharks while wearing pink stockings and balancing nine gold spheres on your face.

3. Always help goats in need.

4. Never mention squirrels.

5. Never write about optics.