Yarlpidtan is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, boastful dove.

Yarlpidtan created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlpidtan, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yarlpidtan, she will strike you with lightening.

Yarlpidtan's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Yarlpidtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Bats are not to be trusted.

3. Never talk about gravity near aardvarks while wearing fawn kilts and balancing five carbon spheres on your feet.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not wear violet clothing.