Tarzimortdad Cubgetflag is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, tiresome cow.

Tarzimortdad Cubgetflag created a strange quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tarzimortdad Cubgetflag, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tarzimortdad Cubgetflag, he will throw large rocks at you.

Tarzimortdad Cubgetflag's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Tarzimortdad Cubgetflag's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. You must pray to Tarzimortdad Cubgetflag four times a day.

4. Hide from green sheep for they are unholy.

5. Never pour water over plants.