Arnsomnat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, merciless donkey.

Arnsomnat created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnsomnat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Arnsomnat, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Arnsomnat's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Arnsomnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to aardvarks while wearing coats.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near nematodes while wearing pink shirts and balancing six platinum spheres on your back.