Quaffedwig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, ill-tempered dryad.

Quaffedwig created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quaffedwig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quaffedwig, he will turn you into a duck.

Quaffedwig's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Quaffedwig's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never mention hamsters.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.