Bissteengupflabnillvon is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, uncaring faun.

Bissteengupflabnillvon created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bissteengupflabnillvon, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bissteengupflabnillvon, he will turn you into a goat.

Bissteengupflabnillvon's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Bissteengupflabnillvon's Holy Commandments

1. Bissteengupflabnillvon loves swans, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Always help otters in need.

4. Never paint your legs yellow.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.