Yamlatbit is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, intelligent meerkat.

Yamlatbit created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamlatbit, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yamlatbit, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Yamlatbit's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Yamlatbit's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured hamsters.

2. Whales are not to be trusted.

3. Never write about chlorophyll.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.