Dunsagmiddibhitzan Fasxem is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unselfish pig.

Dunsagmiddibhitzan Fasxem created the cosmos six million years ago.

If you believe in Dunsagmiddibhitzan Fasxem, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dunsagmiddibhitzan Fasxem, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dunsagmiddibhitzan Fasxem's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Dunsagmiddibhitzan Fasxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never feed lots of spinach to snakes while wearing blue trousers.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never talk about dark matter near frogs while wearing green hats and balancing four carbon spheres on your legs.