Bisstonksab is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, tiresome turtle.

Bisstonksab created a charm quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bisstonksab, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bisstonksab, she will turn you into a plant.

Bisstonksab's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Bisstonksab's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight sharks approach from the south.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Bisstonksab on top of all buildings.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always treat manatees with great respect.

5. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Bisstonksab in the centre of the settlement.