Pakveenciss is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, sage mole.

Pakveenciss created the planet Venus three million years ago.

If you believe in Pakveenciss, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pakveenciss, he will turn you into a mouse.

Pakveenciss' most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Pakveenciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing indigo corsets and balancing four aluminium spheres on your feet.

4. Always wear turquoise.

5. Do not keep three nematodes in a large pit.