Cunmet is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, resourceful turtle.

Cunmet created viruses two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cunmet, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cunmet, he will torture you forever.

Cunmet's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Cunmet's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured frogs.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Pray towards the south.