Jopgenhin is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, wise hyena.

Jopgenhin created a Higgs boson eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopgenhin, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jopgenhin, he will be very unhappy.

Jopgenhin's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Jopgenhin's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never mention seals.

3. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Jopgenhin on top of all buildings.

5. Never laugh near horses.